I have just entered my 40s and feel OLD, so I am reading the news about the Age Discrimination Legislation with great interest and grateful that I will now look forward to the rest of my life with no ageism………Yeah, right. I met a 35 year old man yesterday who has had numerous job applications turned down on the basis that he was "too young". When I was in my early 20s and looking for work I was often turned down because I was "too young" for the post. I am now too old for certain jobs ("nobody aged over 40 need apply) or to go on certain tour companies holidays and too young to go on others. I am stared at when I go into certain bars as clearly I am older than 20 and that’s their cut-off age. I have met some people in their 50s who are just starting out on a new career path and others who have been forcibly retired due to "old age". What does age mean? When are we "too old" and, if we are "too old" what precisely are we "too old" for?………

Am I "too old" to have new, innovative, creative ideas? Am I too old to gain any more wisdom and life experience? Am I too old to go out and network with more people who might add something to my business and me to theirs? Am I too old to make someone else feel loved or valued or bring some joy into their lives? Am I too old to manage people?

Presumably, most people reading that last paragraph would say "of course you can do all of those things, but what you can’t do is work through the night, bring the same level of energy and enthusiasm and dynamism of someone in their 20s or 30s. " Now, does that point of view really hold water? I don’t think so.

20 - somethings:

When I was setting out as a young lawyer in my 20s, I was highly driven, very motivated and hard-working. I did spend many "all-nighters" in the office. I did clock up huge numbers of hours. But was I working HARD and fairly ineffectively?   Or was I working reasonably hard but very effectively? What precisely constitutes "hard work"?? Is it number of hours grafted? Is it amount of pure concentration? Is it the amount of rainmaking you do? Is it the number of meetings you attend? Is it the number of sales you make? Does this all depend entirely on age?

There is no point clocking up 15 hours a day if the output of those hours is so dubious that you can only charge for 10 of those hours in any event. Or working so many hours that you’re too tired to work any of them thoroughly and you’re way too tired to be innovative or dynamic let alone patient enough to mentor anyone or manage your team effectively. You work so hard that you have no time to exercise and relieve yourself of all the stress caused by working so many hours, so you end up suffering with a variety of physical ailments - all of which prevent you from working as "hard" as you’d like to…mmmm.

One of the lessons in my life is that I now work fewer hours but far more effectively so my output is actually more than it was when I was working "harder". I think that kind of effectiveness comes with age and experience, and is often more valuable to a company than "hard work".

The other aspect of being "young" is you are probably either a party animal or have very young children. My associates and I and other "graduates" were often in the office in a zombified state having stayed up partying til the early hours the night before. What little sleep we had had was suffused with alcohol and of dubious quality in any event. Going to bed early "to pace ourselves" for work was not "cool" and anyone who did act responsibly and go to bed early during the week instead of going out socialising was considered to be, frankly, a bit of a loser. So just how "hard" were we working when we were in the office???

Then we started "growing up" a bit……… 

30- somethings

Now you’re flying!  The 30s usually encompass  being at a stage of your career where people were seriously relying on you to deliver the goods because by now you have gathered some pretty weighty experience under your belt and are beginning to show good judgement, instead of just "puppy enthusiasm".  Clients start respecting your knowledge, experience, judgement calls and you are beginning to be a "rainmaker". Your colleagues come to you for advice and you may have several juniors and a team to manage. Great - now you really are at your peak………………………

Aren’t you?

Or are you just so exhausted from all the sleepless nights with your toddler and new baby waking you up every 2 hours during the night (and this goes for many men too) that you can barely drag yourself into the office and wade your way through the first cup of coffee let alone focus on the 3 hour client meeting that you are barely awake for.

You are probably also  moving up the property ladder with your new salary increase and knocking down a few walls, pulling the bathroom to pieces and  generally up to your ears in building works and credit card bills. Stressful………

Or, if you haven’t got into the whole "married and babies" scenario and are still "out there" enjoying an active social life, you may well be going through all other kinds of social trauma, often relationship based: new dates, new break-ups, dreams rising and then crashing again…………….often not a particularly stable period. You may even be going through your first divorce  - although, let’s face it, that’s the one thing you’re never "too old" or "too young" to experience…….Well, maybe 15 is still a bit young and once you’re in your 90s is there any point???

Or you maybe taking that MBA or Masters you’ve always wanted to do, or are playing in a band, in a football team or training for a triatholon. All time-consuming stuff, but hey, you better do it now before you are "too old" to do it.

So maybe it gets better in your 40s…….

Apparently, these are the years where it all really comes together: you’re well up in your career without the sleepless nights of young children, you’ve got your MBA/Masters/run the marathon/ settled in a stable relationship, you’ve built up a really good network of contacts, the builders have been (trashed your house) and now moved on, you’re intellect is still pretty sharp, you’re still on the ball with the technology changes and you’ve had a few good ideas lately:  everything is tickety boo……………….isn’t it?

Well, not quite. One of your parents has just been hospitalised with a serious illness and, because of their age, you are having to take increasing amounts of time off work to look after them or organise care for them. You have more caring responsibilities. You’re worried and unhappy about what’s happening to them. You are growing restless in your current job: you haven’t received the promotion you wanted, your company isn’t "going anywhere", you’ve seen and done it all before and there don’t seem to be any new challenges so you’re bored………………….Your good friend has just died of a heart attack aged 47 and you’re wondering what it’s all about anyway………Is there more to your life than work and career……..?

But you’re 40 something. Surely you are now "too old" to move or "too young" to be thinking of taking the next serious position on the board of directors, or the management team or to head up a new office - aren’t you? You are definitely "too old" to start a new career path or take up a new sport, aren’t you?

Then, before you know it you are

50 something.

Well, what do I know: I haven’t got there yet, but I know lots of people who have and they tell me that they are at their peak: they have all the great things I’ve just listed about being in your 40s but they now don’t have any children at home sponging off them and driving them crazy with all their teenage misdoings. The house is finished, they go on great holidays and can now finally start living the life they’ve been aiming for all these years…………..

Except now they are "too old" to head up that new office because the company think "the position demands some new innovative, dynamic input" - clearly not something that any 50 something year old can provide……….

They are "too old" to be out dancing til the early hours  or starting rock climbing ("don’t they realise that they are just too old for this club/bar/restaurant/holiday/activity).So they become "past it"……………….

60 somethings, 70 somethings, 80 somethings - well why are we even thinking about people in this ancient age group?????

Some of the most inciteful, interesting, intelligent, wise, innovative, hard-working, dynamic people I have met fall into these age groups. They can cut through all the nonsense and see the issues for what they really are, they can make amazing mentors with the time and patience to train the "pups", they can call on their vast network of very senior and influential people to make the changes needed and don’t have all the other distractions of young family, elderly parents, building a house and so on. What a potent combination of attributes.

AND they don’t need any sleep……………………and have learnt to hold their drink………..

Rock on….

Written by Anna Kavanagh,  - a 40 something, exhausted mother, still building, still hoping to do a triathalon, thinking about more qualifications and still hoping there’s life after 40.

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